WHY AM I
TELLING YOU THIS?
As the saying goes: "Don't talk the talk
unless you can walk the walk!"*
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How can we raise awareness and reduce the stigma,
if we can not share our own journey.
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How else will you know that you are not alone?
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What's my story?
Hear my interview with ABC Radio about PTSD in paramedics (28th Jan 2023)
20 years of paramedicine and my bucket is starting to overflow. My family see it, my workmates see it, but I don’t.
Each call out starts to take my breath away,
I hope my partner doesn’t notice because I am lead clinician.
Jobs are becoming more personalised. I can’t seem to compartmentalise them anymore.
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My colleagues reactions and responses sit with me and make me question my decisions.
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There’s only a couple of work MATES that I trust myself to work with and they know something is up, otherwise I do what I can to avoid work.
I start to hate going to work.
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Then the final day comes, I can not go back,
and I don’t....
20 years on the road ....
over.
What happens next?
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I am one of the lucky ones....
I have an amazing support network around me,
who see my vulnerabilities and make sure that I get myself onto a path of healing.
I have
a husband who understands me better than I do,
a GP that puts patients first
a family psychologist who works her amazing magic without you realising it.
The importance of this network is amplified by the fact that I don’t remember much of the beginning.
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I remember .....​
crying a lot
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I remember .....​
not wanting to admit that I had been diagnosed with PTSD
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I remember .....
my boys (then 3 and 5) asking me why I didn't smile anymore.
I continue to think I am invincible,
that I can do anything,
that it will pass. ​
Even though I had a diagnosis,
I still didn't fully understand what was going on.
My job consumed my thoughts
